Cocoa Butter

I remember waking up to Marvin Gaye and the smell of burning incense
Knowing that my mom was in a good mood in an instant
For instance, she’s probably cooking or cleaning
Bumping the old school jams with the early sun gleaming
Peeping into windows
Invading the rest with pillows
Tucked warm underneath the covers
but not
Moving because I’m still cold
I want to lay and be lazy
But that day is getting ahead of me
And
I’m working for someone who pays me
It’s strictly “yes or no ma’am”
with no maybes
Outside the kids play all day
With no running in or out
Their mom was your mom
It wasn’t any bidding about
Kids better watch their mouth
Or
Trouble was coming
Hearing shots fired in the hood
has
all the kids running
It’s everyday to hear
a
man got sprayed
and being taken on the news
to hear about the raid
“My time is coming soon”
is the only attitude
There’s no escaping
For pennies
I’m scraping
Just to make it on my last
Everything is on your own
There is no “calling dad”
Missing fathers don’t bother
But
We’ll still prosper into scholars
in mothers honor
Walk the altar
Become an author
with
the pay grade
of doctors
Niggas don’t come back to hoods just to foster the children
It’s chilling
because
Some children will never know the feeling
of love
Not celebrating the killings
“A nigga getting a free meal in”
My family blood is deeply
Connected to them feelings
Never getting the love
Because that’s what’s always missing
It seems
It’s always something to do
I’ve been
Grown up
all while
experiencing the youth
I tread lightly so my face is never depicted on the news
I pray highly so my niggas necks is never in a noose
Tied up my ends cause they can’t afford to be loose
Keeping things laid like I slicked it with moose
I know that there’s many that share the same story
That’s why I overstand now so it’s never in my forty’s
Or fifties
Knowing life’s a plague got me hippie
Living
Swiftly grinning
Witty spitting
Admitting
To my mistakes
Cause if I don’t time it now
It’ll be
a minute too late
(2017)