Invisible man
I’d rather be
If my principles are demands
I’d rather flee
How can one not understand?
When I help to see
I guess one can always hear
But not
listen when you speak
To be told I’m too old
to deal with emotions
Can’t babysit me
Because I lack the potion
Is painful
No matter how you change the view of that angle
Must’ve been told you’re too old
to not worry of the motions
The magic is
Pain exposes true worth
Especially when it’s only existing to hurt
The treatment is callous
Still
Not aware of the malice
Too bitter to see
The reflection of you
Is the reflection of me
Where it holds you true
To see
Where the bonds
Are not
Sticking like glue
Like you thought
Wanting to leave it all
because it’s beginning to rot
Wanting to get through it all
But does it ever stop
I wonder
Why does the pain often strike like thunder
In the times where I’m too invisible to be seen
Can’t even listen to the music that I love to sing
But
Quick to answer on the first few rings
Even gave you
an engaging bling
But
Too busy giving a me that’s not received
Harder to stay, easier to leave
All I needed was a validation
Guess it arrived as an emancipation
Those words required sympathy
Well
Apologizes require empathy
Got me rehearing California Symphonies
Reliving childhood traumas
Inflicting me
Just like you my own momma
I know I’m karma
But I don’t understand
How a principle can be seen as such a demand
I’d rather be
Invisible man
Wanting myself
Because I was sacrificed
for the sake of my wealth
To the white man
consistently happening
Over and over again
Empty but fulfilled
Living for the bill
Looking happy
but truthfully
Steady dying out of thrill
Escaping with a pill
Instead of taking the time to deal
Wishing that it would stop the rain
Yet I’m hurt just by the mention of your name
Wanted you to understand
That principle is not demand
Even though I demand time
But
I ain’t worth a cent cause others worth a dime
My love language speaks time in the physical
But I could never experience the quality even in digital
Interactions
The consistent feels of my feelings contracting
In addition it’s been
Preparing myself for a subtraction
Becoming less of a fraction
Took awhile but I realized
the conditions
aren’t worth the adaptions
So
Invisible man
I’d rather be
If my principles are demands
I’d rather flee
How can one not understand?
When I help to see
I guess one can always hear
But not
listen when you speak
(2018)
The AwkweirdSole. 