Maybe it’s mistaken but I want a love that’s forsaken
I’m speaking of the type of love that has no barriers
Extremely ground breaking
I’m open
To give my all in energy that’s uplifting in devotion
I’m focused
Never questioning the volumes of “I love you”
because it’s potent
instead you know this
To be in a rapture with you
I’m captured with no plans
to escape
in my mind I’ve let these thoughts skate to infinity
even flipped like figure 8
I painted a portrait of you in my mind cause you are a thought I can’t emancipate
I need to concentrate
I’m reminiscing feelings of bliss with temporary experiences that’ll leave me pissed
realizing I’m too good for this
I’m exchanging lust in feelings with no words to comprehend it
This has been my living in well needing to be suspended
My forever is illicit and I’m trying to understand
why something good for me existence seems to be conflicted in demand
I’m tempted
To just
Hit my ex up
and discuss a lecture
Of how she said
I don’t respect her
Maybe if I right my wrongs I’ll feel like her love is home
Even though
When I know deep down
It’s where
I don’t belong
But
I just need the comfort
I need the feeling of abundance
because I’m just a misguided fungus
in need of a compass
Wondering
Where do I need to travel?
The crunching sound of gravel
is the soundtrack to my soul
And simply I live in a space
where I truly “just don’t know”
I’m a hopeless romantic stuck in a hookup generation
seeing that
every time I give my mind and body
I lose a sense of me
that leaves me
not complacent
I need a ground breaking love that’s extremely forsaken
I need the type of connection that leaves the Earth shaking
I’d say
“Honey please do me favor and let me feel your vibrations”
I’m not really into talking so vibes are communication
I find peace in mediation, tell me you understand that sensation
But I’m just transcending waiting to be blessed with something that’s never ending
I vow to be Gaye like Marvin but I need more than just a sexual healing
But maybe I’m mistaken to ever dream of having a love that’s so forsaken
I’ve given so much of me that now all I ever feel is taken
I think
I lost myself finding you
I gave me to empower you
in every hour of the day
and now I’m left here
empty
with no words left to say
I think I hate you
For leaving me in impossible pieces to be written
like I’m a fragmented thesis
And
every time that you see your reflection
I hope that it helps you see yourself clearer
From my mirror
But
sparks relight with new candles
and I can’t take the new scent
it seems
because it’s been yours that I could handle
I ask
Is this doable?
Cause I can only enjoy you for the moment
because then you’re just consumable
It feels stronger because your wanting something
that’s eventually more beautiful
And I tell you that it’s not suitable
because I’m still just so juvenile
And the words strike like thunder
Making it all feel delusional
And thats okay, how?
Because it’s only just the usual
Cause
I’ll find a new you and still want a forsaken love
You know something extremely groundbreaking
Sent from way up above
I will get it no matter how many times
I have to be explicit
I’ve done a lot of insisting
just for some consistence
See
I can give all of me
Without being ashamed to see
the person I have to look at
to be
Who I need to be
But until I meet you and you’re of the mutual
This will always only be
Just
the usual
(2015)
The AwkweirdSole. 