To Myself

I need just one day
Away from the babies
Away from the craziness
Away from family
Away from love
Just away from the world
I want to close every door that’s open
I don’t want to see any sunlight
I want to enjoy my day with no life
I hate when I have to wake up early after being at work late
I hate having to set calendars just so I can remember the dates
Of when I need to participate
In society
But
The money’s guiding me
I hate that I’ve become my own servant
Clairvoyant
I’m optimistic of a life change
But also I don’t want to be the one asking for spare change
So I carry on and keep fighting since my days will not be complete if I keep hiding
It’s exciting to think that I could have this day off
But
I wonder who’s going to do the work when I’m ready to rot
When I’m not there
Consistently thinking that
No one compares
to me
It’s hard to think that someone could be in the space of me
Taking the place of thee
But
I need just one day away from me
So I can see the mess that I handle
in a day
(2016)