I wanted to talk to you before you left
But I never got the chance to
By now you’re probably transcending into new realities
Forgetting the fatality
that took you away
From this place
I must say
That I hope you’re happy
and
Keeping the intellect strong and black
For the nappy
But I’m sad
Because
I never got to experience you in this life as a dad
And I learned to forgive you for every painful memory you’ve given me
See I know that people exist in many dimensions
Often
Failing to mention
Which they chose to live by
Like a friend of mine could be a scholar
But invest themselves in drive by’s
or
There’s the ones who talk good in your face
but
When your backs turn
They love to discuss you as a disgrace
Give a side eye and befriend a group of hate
Who
Accepts it with high fives
I know
How the world works
That’s why I’ve always kept my head in the books
And I became a dreamer
Just how you remember me to be the infamous shower singer
But now it’s real
I know you was there the night
I eyed the pills
When I
tried to kill
couldn’t fight the thrill
Of myself
Leaving
I know my soul was screeching
Screaming
For me to stop the seeping
Into depression
For me to open my eyes and see the lesson
Feel the blessings of the things that forsakes me
Never could see it
Because I was trying to replace me
Too busy trying to be sane made me dizzy
Didn’t accept your death until you turned fifty
I had to let you go
To let you know that I felt you
Couldn’t receive you then
Because I didn’t accept me
Couldn’t understand how I was supposed to be
So I couldn’t understand what you wanted to be
It pains
To know
That I never got to call you by your name
You know
Daddy
(2016)
The AwkweirdSole. 